Games that you knew were bad but were worse than you expected.

[DragonmasterDan]

I finally had the chance to play Annete Futatabi for Mega CD, the sequel to one of my favorite Genesis games El Viento, and even though I knew going in this was a lousy beat-em up. I had no idea how bad it actually was until I tried it. Enemies hide from you off screen in inaccessible places, lousy collision detection, lots of slowdown, mindless AI. It's hard to express how bad this game is.

What are some games you knew going in were going to be bad, but let you down even more than expected?

[geise]

Pit Fighter, Rise of the Robots, Darkwing Duck, Falcon.

Dan I also want to add I feel the same way about Annete Futatabi, since El Viento is also one of my favorites as well.

[bartre]

honestly, Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue.
*shudder*

[esteban]

I finally had the chance to play Annete Futatabi for Mega CD, the sequel to one of my favorite Genesis games El Viento, and even though I knew going in this was a lousy beat-em up. I had no idea how bad it actually was until I tried it. Enemies hide from you off screen in inaccessible places, lousy collision detection, lots of slowdown, mindless AI. It's hard to express how bad this game is.

What are some games you knew going in were going to be bad, but let you down even more than expected?

I like El Viento, but, DAMN, why does it have such a cult following, where other games of equal caliber are shrugged off? YES, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE VALIS SERIES! OK, maybe I'm just a bit too sensitive. 

PCE:

(1) Turrican — one of the FEW times I can say "meh", since I rarely feel "meh" (most games can compel me, hook me, at least a little...but I have NO FEELINGS for Turrican on PCE). Bleh. APATHY. INDIFFERENCE.

(2) Darkwing Duck — the pogo is fun, but my inability to discern any logic as to how the game responds to my actions renders me frustrated. This is more than merely bad "collision detection", this is a fundamental failure to communicate what I, as a player, am supposed to do at the very beginning of the damn game. I mean, I can't discern basic CAUSALITY in the damn game. Everything seems arbitrary, governed by rules that are unfathomable. HOW DO I PROGRESS. POGO. 45 DEGREE ROAD. CONFUSED. 45 DEGREE ROAD. POGO.

(3) Night Creatures — I want to appreciate this game, but I still haven't had a chance to channel CrackTiger's soul and do what needs to be done.

[DragonmasterDan]

I like El Viento, but, DAMN, why does it have such a cult following, where other games of equal caliber are shrugged off? YES, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE VALIS SERIES! OK, maybe I'm just a bit too sensitive.  

I'm not sure if you're kidding or not. But, just in case you're serious. One major reason is that El Viento controls a hell of a lot better. The dash mechanic is a nice gimmick that adds speed and playability to it. The level design is more interesting, and overall I find the game far less aggravating than any Valis game I've played (being 1 on Genesis and Famicom, II on Turbo, Syd of Valis, III on Turbo and Genesis and Super Valis IV).

PCE:
(2) Darkwing Duck — the pogo is fun, but my inability to discern any logic as to how the game responds to my actions renders me frustrated. This is more than merely bad "collision detection", this is a fundamental failure to communicate what I, as a player, am supposed to do at the very beginning of the damn game. I mean, I can't discern basic CAUSALITY in the damn game. Everything seems arbitrary, governed by rules that are unfathomable. HOW DO I PROGRESS. POGO. 45 DEGREE ROAD. CONFUSED. 45 DEGREE ROAD. POGO.

I think this game is worse than Tailspin, though some disagree with me.

(3) Night Creatures — I want to appreciate this game, but I still haven't had a chance to channel CrackTiger's soul and do what needs to be done.

I'll be kind and call this game a shit sandwich. Even if it had lofty aspirations of being "Symphony of the Night before Symphony of the Night". Terrible control, gameplay, level design and other issues caused it to fall flat on its face. A while back I made a thread about how this was the worst game on the domestic Turbo. I certainly think it's in the running with Falcon and Gunboat for that distinction.

[esteban]

I like El Viento, but, DAMN, why does it have such a cult following, where other games of equal caliber are shrugged off? YES, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE VALIS SERIES! OK, maybe I'm just a bit too sensitive.  

I'm not sure if you're kidding or not. But, just in case you're serious. One major reason is that El Viento controls a hell of a lot better. The dash mechanic is a nice gimmick that adds speed and playability to it. The level design is more interesting, and overall I find the game far less aggravating than any Valis game I've played (being 1 on Genesis and Famicom, II on Turbo, Syd of Valis, III on Turbo and Genesis and Super Valis IV).

PCE:
(2) Darkwing Duck — the pogo is fun, but my inability to discern any logic as to how the game responds to my actions renders me frustrated. This is more than merely bad "collision detection", this is a fundamental failure to communicate what I, as a player, am supposed to do at the very beginning of the damn game. I mean, I can't discern basic CAUSALITY in the damn game. Everything seems arbitrary, governed by rules that are unfathomable. HOW DO I PROGRESS. POGO. 45 DEGREE ROAD. CONFUSED. 45 DEGREE ROAD. POGO.

I think this game is worse than Tailspin, though some disagree with me.

(3) Night Creatures — I want to appreciate this game, but I still haven't had a chance to channel CrackTiger's soul and do what needs to be done.

I'll be kind and call this game a shit sandwich. Even if it had lofty aspirations of being "Symphony of the Night before Symphony of the Night". Terrible control, gameplay, level design and other issues caused it to fall flat on its face. A while back I made a thread about how this was the worst game on the domestic Turbo. I certainly think it's in the running with Falcon and Gunboat for that distinction.

Darkwing Duck is definitely worse than Tailspin, in my humble opinion.

Night Creatures just ____________. I agree with you.

Valis III (PCE, Genesis to a lesser extent) is pinnacle of series and kicks ass. It is so satisfying. It's a shame the level design isn't too creative in the series, but at least III tries (slightly).  Valis II, for example, is a decent platformer, but it is generic (enemy AI) with very little flair in level design. Valis IV was a let down for me (PCE, SFC)... Not nearly as satisfying as III. Syd of Valis? Horrendous.

EL VIENTO does not crush Valis III. I guess that's what I should have said. I like El Viento.

ASIDE: EXPLODING OCTOPUS PIXELATION.  

[DragonmasterDan]

Valis III (PCE, Genesis to a lesser extent) is pinnacle of series and kicks ass. It is so satisfying. It's a shame the level design isn't too creative in the series, but at least III tries (slightly).  Valis II, for example, is a decent platformer, but it is generic (enemy AI) with very little flair in level design. Valis IV was a let down for me (PCE, SFC)... Not nearly as satisfying as III. Syd of Valis? Horrendous.

EL VIENTO does not crush Valis III. I guess that's what I should have said. I like El Viento.

I take it you haven't played any version of Valis 1?

[CrackTiger]

I had low expectations going in to Sword of Sodan and Techno Cop, even thouh each time it was before any reviews had been published. In both cases I remember thinking "wow, this is even worse than I expected".

[TheClash603]

I grew up loving Altered Beast in the arcade.  When I got my Genesis, I even loved the home game.

Years later I picked up the Master System version of the game, which I had heard terrible things about, but I figured it would just be a lower tech Altered Beast.

The game ended up being nearly unplayable, with a frame rate of maybe 5 fps once there is an enemy on screen.  Complete garbage.

[esteban]

I grew up loving Altered Beast in the arcade.  When I got my Genesis, I even loved the home game.

Years later I picked up the Master System version of the game, which I had heard terrible things about, but I figured it would just be a lower tech Altered Beast.

The game ended up being nearly unplayable, with a frame rate of maybe 5 fps once there is an enemy on screen.  Complete garbage.

OMG. I have never played the SMS version...or, if I have, I must have repressed it. I honestly can't be certain.

[esteban]

Valis III (PCE, Genesis to a lesser extent) is pinnacle of series and kicks ass. It is so satisfying. It's a shame the level design isn't too creative in the series, but at least III tries (slightly).  Valis II, for example, is a decent platformer, but it is generic (enemy AI) with very little flair in level design. Valis IV was a let down for me (PCE, SFC)... Not nearly as satisfying as III. Syd of Valis? Horrendous.

EL VIENTO does not crush Valis III. I guess that's what I should have said. I like El Viento.

I take it you haven't played any version of Valis 1?

I have played them on Genny and PCE, but it hasn't been recent. I don't remember being particularly in love with it...

ALSO I REALIZE THAT VALIS II ISN'T A REMARKABLE GAME, BUT I LOVE THE MUSIC.

Valis II music > all WolfTeam on Genesis/MegaDrive/MegaCD/what-have-you.

[DragonmasterDan]

OMG. I have never played the SMS version...or, if I have, I must have repressed it. I honestly can't be certain.

Well, the Famicom version isn't so hot either.

[JoshTurboTrollX]

I think Golden Axe on our PCE CD shoots to the top of my list.

[DragonmasterDan]

I think Golden Axe on our PCE CD shoots to the top of my list.

I was thinking about it as well after the mention of Altered Beast

[EvilEvoIX]

Legend of Success Joe.  What a train wreck!  Controls are bad, colors are bad, the premise is bad.  Just a terrible effort.  I ran through it out of curiosity but never again,


Rise of the Robots is also terrible.

[CrackTiger]

I think Golden Axe on our PCE CD shoots to the top of my list.

I don't think that it's possible for the game to seem any worse than it's made out to be by so many people. If anything, it shouldn't seem as bad since too many people are overly critical of the cinemas and music.

[DragonmasterDan]

I don't think that it's possible for the game to seem any worse than it's made out to be by so many people. If anything, it shouldn't seem as bad since too many people are overly critical of the cinemas and music.

IMO the Cinema's are the best part.

[esteban]

Black Hole Assault.

I played the PCE and SegaCD versions (honestly, the music and the Sega artwork have provided 100% of my enjoyment from the game). I didn't beat the games (too boring).

I read that the game was lame, but I said,"it's gotta be fun for a few minutes."

I was wrong. 15-20 seconds into the game, you realize how lame it is.

DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME. STOP! I see you scouring eBay for the cheapest copy. STOP!

HISTORY: I remember playing HEAVY NOVA on the genesis and thinking it was a big load of crap....I didn't realize that BLACK HOLE ASSAULT was a sequel until after playing.

TRUTH: I thought "Heavy Nova" was an awesome title and I was so disappointed by it. For some reason, a lot of game magazines covered it as a "Coming Soon" title and I must not have been the only kid who was excited about it.

[geise]

I had low expectations going in to Sword of Sodan and Techno Cop, even thouh each time it was before any reviews had been published. In both cases I remember thinking "wow, this is even worse than I expected".

Haha!  I remember going to Toys R Us and seeing Sword of Sodan from the flyer.  I thought the graphics looked amazing!  My brother bought it and man, when we got home it was just total disappointment.  The next day he took it back saying it was defective and got Strider!

[TheClash603]

I had low expectations going in to Sword of Sodan and Techno Cop, even thouh each time it was before any reviews had been published. In both cases I remember thinking "wow, this is even worse than I expected".

I love Techno Cop...  Jelly gun is awesome.

[Tatsujin]

just watched the castlevania port for the Amiga the other day, man that game sure can't be more bad than this

[bob]

I just picked up Yo Bro on ebay, and I have a feeling it's going to exceed my expectations of BAD

[VestCunt]

Ditto on Altered Beast SMS.

My short list:

Alf - SMS
Most truly broken game I've ever played.

Ultima Warriors of Destiny - NES
Knew it was bad, but after beating FCI's ports of Exodus, Avatar, False Prophet, and Hydlide, I thought I could enjoy anything. I was wrong.

Night Creatures - TG16
I dig Tailspin, Darkwing, Ghost Manor, Turrican, and Impossamole once in a while, but not this game. The enemy of fun.

[geise]

Yeah man Night Creatures is so bad I actually forgot about it. Well, forced myself to forget about it.

[bob]

Ditto on Altered Beast SMS.

My short list:

Alf - SMS
Most truly broken game I've ever played.

Ultima Warriors of Destiny - NES
Knew it was bad, but after beating FCI's ports of Exodus, Avatar, False Prophet, and Hydlide, I thought I could enjoy anything. I was wrong.

Night Creatures - TG16
I dig Tailspin, Darkwing, Ghost Manor, Turrican, and Impossamole once in a while, but not this game. The enemy of fun.

Wait, you got through NES Hydlide?

[futureman2000]

Good call on Alf. It's really bad, then you get to the cave where you have to defend yourself against bats with a salami... And the shit hits the fan.

[JoshTurboTrollX]

Ditto on Altered Beast SMS.

My short list:

Alf - SMS
Most truly broken game I've ever played.

Ultima Warriors of Destiny - NES
Knew it was bad, but after beating FCI's ports of Exodus, Avatar, False Prophet, and Hydlide, I thought I could enjoy anything. I was wrong.

Night Creatures - TG16
I dig Tailspin, Darkwing, Ghost Manor, Turrican, and Impossamole once in a while, but not this game. The enemy of fun.

Wait, you got through NES Hydlide?

NES Hydlide is actually really short, and yea- I could be put on the list of fellas that played through it as well.

Also, I played Warriors of Destiny on it's release going in with VERY VERY high expectations as I loved Exodus and QotA.  Son, I was disappoint.  Holy hell I hated that game....

[bob]

Fuck, now i need to try it again.

[jeffhlewis]

I had low expectations going in to Sword of Sodan and Techno Cop, even thouh each time it was before any reviews had been published. In both cases I remember thinking "wow, this is even worse than I expected".

Imagine racing down the stairs on Xmas morning and opening that new Genesis game and it's...Sword of Sodan. It was like my parents were punishing me.

The game looked so cool in the screenshots but was such a turd.

My vote for worse-than-I-expected was EVERY arcade-to-PC port in the late 80's/early 90's. We used to play the PC port of Double Dragon in EGA. I fired that thing up in DosBox a while back and literally have no clue how I was able to derive fun out of that game as a kid.

[esteban]

I had low expectations going in to Sword of Sodan and Techno Cop, even thouh each time it was before any reviews had been published. In both cases I remember thinking "wow, this is even worse than I expected".

Imagine racing down the stairs on Xmas morning and opening that new Genesis game and it's...Sword of Sodan. It was like my parents were punishing me.

The game looked so cool in the screenshots but was such a turd.

My vote for worse-than-I-expected was EVERY arcade-to-PC port in the late 80's/early 90's. We used to play the PC port of Double Dragon in EGA. I fired that thing up in DosBox a while back and literally have no clue how I was able to derive fun out of that game as a kid.

This is so true. The screenshots for arcade-PC ports would look decent*, but the actual games were often horrendous (scrolling, refresh, controls, lag, etc.)

*Of course, the publisher only put the nicest looking screenshots on package...unless you had the best video/sound card, you were never quite sure what you would end up with.

[jeffhlewis]

I had low expectations going in to Sword of Sodan and Techno Cop, even thouh each time it was before any reviews had been published. In both cases I remember thinking "wow, this is even worse than I expected".

Imagine racing down the stairs on Xmas morning and opening that new Genesis game and it's...Sword of Sodan. It was like my parents were punishing me.

The game looked so cool in the screenshots but was such a turd.

My vote for worse-than-I-expected was EVERY arcade-to-PC port in the late 80's/early 90's. We used to play the PC port of Double Dragon in EGA. I fired that thing up in DosBox a while back and literally have no clue how I was able to derive fun out of that game as a kid.

This is so true. The screenshots for arcade-PC ports would look decent*, but the actual games were often horrendous (scrolling, refresh, controls, lag, etc.)

*Of course, the publisher only put the nicest looking screenshots on package...unless you had the best video/sound card, you were never quite sure what you would end up with.

For reference:

EGA Double Dragon:

Sword of Sodan:

[TheClash603]

I never had a PC growing up, I always had an Apple II C+.  I will say that the arcade ports were pretty awesome on that thing.  I especially liked playing Bad Dudes and Victory Road.

Is my judgement clouded by nostalgia, or were Apple II ports better than PC ports back in the day?

[Mishran]

The PC port of Double Dragon 2 was worse than the first. Think that is bad, try the Bad Dudes PC game. Back of the box showed arcade quality graphics. What a let down.

Talk about lousy PC games... anyone ever play Blood 2? What a joke.

[jeffhlewis]

The PC port of Double Dragon 2 was worse than the first. Think that is bad, try the Bad Dudes PC game. Back of the box showed arcade quality graphics. What a let down.

Talk about lousy PC games... anyone ever play Blood 2? What a joke.

Yup I had DD2 and it was almost unplayable - it ran at like 5fps. I also had Robocop (which actually wasn't that bad), the Megaman port by Hi-tech expressions (again not terrible surprisingly), Capcom's Trojan (garbage), Dragon's Lair (barf) and a bunch of others.

On the flipside I also had Silpheed, Thexder and Zeliard - all badass Game Arts titles that Sierra published for the US PC market that wound up in my local bargain bin. Best $5 I ever spent.

[VestCunt]

Wait, you got through NES Hydlide?

Yeah. Bought it cart-only for $15 at a used kids' clothing store in '90. It sucked at first, but after playing it for an hour and I started having fun (today I would never have the patience, but back then I only owned six games). Got through it with one of Jeff Rovin's picture-less books. OLD SCHOOL.

[esadajr]

Megaman 3 for PC. I knew it was going to be bad but not that bad. Just (censored) sucks

[Mishran]

Ninja Gaiden for PC. Lol

Graphics were shameful, but the game was a port of the arcade rather than the NES version. Controls weren't half bad and the game was actually moderately amusing.

[VestCunt]

edit: wrong thread

[esteban]

edit: wrong thread

Pay attention, dammit!

[wildfruit]

transbot for master system
it has 2 levels that just repeat it never ends

[esteban]

I knew that Time Soldiers for SMS wasn't going to be like the awesome arcade game, but when I finally got Time Soldiers SMS I was like, "WTF is this?" Because it really had nothing to do with the arcade game and was just a sad, sad game. I would have been OK with a generic home port but it is simply RUDE and disrespectful to attach "Time Soldiers" to the damn SMS cart.

[Mishran]

I brought this up before once upon a time, but has anyone ever did a comparison of the NES and SMS versions of Rampage? Shows just how much more capable the master system was compared to the NES. NES makes the eyes bleed after playing the SMS version.

[CrackTiger]

I brought this up before once upon a time, but has anyone ever did a comparison of the NES and SMS versions of Rampage? Shows just how much more capable the master system was compared to the NES. NES makes the eyes bleed after playing the SMS version.

The SMS version also has great FM sound.

[PukeSter]

I knew that Time Soldiers for SMS wasn't going to be like the awesome arcade game, but when I finally got Time Soldiers SMS I was like, "WTF is this?" Because it really had nothing to do with the arcade game and was just a sad, sad game. I would have been OK with a generic home port but it is simply RUDE and disrespectful to attach "Time Soldiers" to the damn SMS cart.

Similar to Ikari Warriors on NES? Silly ADK and SNK.

[esteban]

I knew that Time Soldiers for SMS wasn't going to be like the awesome arcade game, but when I finally got Time Soldiers SMS I was like, "WTF is this?" Because it really had nothing to do with the arcade game and was just a sad, sad game. I would have been OK with a generic home port but it is simply RUDE and disrespectful to attach "Time Soldiers" to the damn SMS cart.

Similar to Ikari Warriors on NES? Silly ADK and SNK.

Yes, except that even arcade Ikari Warriors was clunky (the NES port is abominable, though).

Time Soldiers, on the other hand, played great (nice  control, not perfect, but it felt good)...so they took a nice arcade game but made it poppy for SMS port. Every aspect of SMS is crappier.

[VestCunt]

Having played the port before the arcade version, I love SMS Time Soldiers. I bought it because it was the only 2-player game at Toy R Us in 1993 that wasn't Shanghai. The flicker sucks, but it's a good game with a good difficulty curve. I recently played the arcade version on MAME and felt right at home. It feels like the same game. Of course, I've never experienced the pivot stick action...

[retroguy]

Wayne's World for the SNES. I knew it would be bad, but I thought it might be enjoyable in a so-bad-it's-good cheesy b-movie kind of way (like Virtual Hydlide for the Saturn). No. It was just horrible. I played through the entire game and I can honestly say it's one of the worst I've ever experienced, possibly THE worst. Avoid at all costs!

[BigusSchmuck]

Stalin VS Martians enough said. About the only redeeming factor is the music. Well maybe if you like Russian Techno...

[esteban]

Stalin VS Martians enough said. About the only redeeming factor is the music. Well maybe if you like Russian Techno...

This must be an Xbox exclusive....

[ToyMachine78]

NES: Deadly Towers(what a steaming pile of shit!) And City Connection.

 And the obvious.... worst pack-in ever.... Keith Courage!!!