Agony.

[RuninRuder]

I've never had a "least favorite" game before.

They say you're never the same afterwards.

Well, congratulations Astralius.  You've become my first.

With all the awful games I've played in my life, and all the Deep Blues and Basteds and Night Creatures and Legions that I've managed to find places in my heart for, I've never come across a game that pissed me off because of its shittiness quite as much as this one. 

Where do I begin...

-The heroes walk SLOWLY.  And I mean INSANELY SLOWLY.  You thought the Faussete Amour and Beyond Shadowgate people were slow?  They're Sonics compared to this bunch. 

-There are battles every step of the way.  And in some cases, I mean that quite literally.  Take a slow step.  Battle.  Step.  Battle.  Two steps!  Battle.  Time slips away and after a while you realize for all the battles you've fought, you've explored but one hallway of a dungeon that's absolutely massive compared to your small, slow, dimwitted character. 

-The battles are carried out in a ridiculously goofy way.  You'd have to see it to understand how goofy it is, but here's a hint: one of your options during the fight is to see your enemy.  Yes, you read that correctly.  See what the enemy looks like.  Because much of the time in battles is spent with nothing but text windows on a black screen.

-The enemies in these battles take hit after hit after worthless hit from your incompetent band of warriors.  When you finally win, remember that another battle is literally just a step away!

-This is one of those obsolete RPGs where you select attack targets for your characters at the beginning of each round, and if their target gets killed (or in this stupid game, runs away), they lose their turn completely rather than moving on to a remaining creature. 

-The walking slowly stuff even becomes a pain in towns.  Did you think you would be allowed to save and heal in the same spot?  Hell no!  The respective buildings are often at the opposite ends of town, meaning you have to trudge S-L-O-W-L-Y from one to the other.  If you aren't familiar with the layouts of the poorly drawn towns, this can take quite a while.  And watch out for "obstacles": I once encountered the SHADOW of a house that my character bumped into and was unable to pass!

-The inconvenience doesn't end there.  Simply talking to a townsperson requires you to bring up a window and select a command.  Want to sell an item in a shop?  You can hold plenty at once, and items you just take off (say, an old suit of armor that you just replaced with a new one) get placed at the very bottom of the list.  You can't just push down on the control pad, you have to press down repeatedly to move through the items.  And you can't sell more than one item at once.  So if your whole party just got new stuff, selling the old stuff can take forever.  And you can store stuff in a certain type of building, but that would mean walking slowly to the building in the first place, and then "scrolling" through the stuff you want to store (or retrieve). 

-Then there's the camel.  Desert sands are too hot for our poor heroes, so they need to buy and ride a camel.  For some reason, after each random battle that occurs, your character will resume play OFF the camel.  So if you're accustomed to just getting on with walking after battles, you'll find yourself walking away from your camel (and getting scorched in the process).  Then you'll have to walk slowly back to him (and get scorched in the process).  You will likely be attacked again on your way back, even though you probably aren't more than two steps away. 

-During one stretch of camel riding, I kept getting attacked over and over and over and over to the point where I LITERALLY was moving BACKWARDS.  Finally I got off the stupid camel and charged ahead, not caring about the damage from the hot sands.  I found some building and retrieved an item which apparently lets me see the battle spots in the desert.  Practically the entire screen was covered in battle spots.  It was so insane that I just laughed ruefully and shut off the system.   

-You'd think a game that concentrates so much on music (the heroes play instruments to perform their magic attacks) would have a decent soundtrack.  Of course, this one doesn't.  It's quite bad, in fact.  The enemy art during the endless random battles is also awful.

-La Valeur is Ys Book I & II compared to this game.  But I'm only like ten percent of the way through, if that.  More fun to come!

[Keranu]

That's a major bummer . I was always excited to play this game because Turbo Play made it look like it was really something special, but now my hopes have been brutally murdered and I'll have to focus my hopes on other games like La Valuer.

[Emerald Rocker]

I... actually played through the whole game.  Some parts were pretty tricky, what with the getting attacked every 2 or 3 steps.  (Although eventually, you do get a magic spell that reduces enemy encounters.  It stays in effect for three seconds.  Yes, three seconds.  Better book!)

It's a pity about the encounter rate, because some of the later dungeons are pretty cool.  It's kind of like the Xenogears of the PC Engine:

"Keep playing!  It gets good, honest!"

[Keranu]

Well that cheers me up a little.

[Emerald Rocker]

I guess the problem is that Xenogears never got good.

[OldRover]

I guess the problem is that Xenogears never got good.

Weird...that's my favourite RPG of all time.

[GUTS]

The best part about Xenogears was how whoever wrote it seriously thought they were writing something deep and meaningful while in reality the story was as fucking retarded and hackneyed as they come.  I think Dragon Slayer had a better story honestly.

[Keranu]

Dragon Slayer had a decent story.

[TR0N]

I guess the problem is that Xenogears never got good.

Weird...that's my favourite RPG of all time.

Ditto even if the last part of the game drags on to much.

[esteban]

I can't even get off the main menu in Astralius. Is the save file inordinately huge? I keep getting an error screen (all black screen, one line of text in white, IIRC) that I assume says "Make room for the save file!"

Then I get dumped back onto the title screen.

As for the music in Astralius: I've only listened to the Red Book, but I thought 2-3 of the tracks were decent, IIRC.

Also, have you noticed that instead of using an actual screenchot on the insert tray, they have a drawing?!

It's been months since I've touched this game, but I thought it was somewhat amusing that they had a "fake" screenshot of the floating continents (or something like that).

[esteban]

I am trying to modify a post and I can't. WTF???

Seriously, WTF!!??

[Emerald Rocker]

Steve:
That black screen is telling you that you can't play it.  You need to free up some space by deleting files.

Another common hang-up is, after the prologue and opening cinema ends, it will appear to hang up at a blue title screen.  It's not frozen -- you just have to wait a couple minutes for the game to start.

Astralius links:
Review
FAQ/walkthrough
Screenshots

[OldRover]

Ditto even if the last part of the game drags on to much.

Yeah...chapter "Dreams" is about as boring as they come, you so want to get to "First And Last" to finish up. The storyline is a little bit quirky and has a few inconsistencies (standard fare for Squaresoft), but in the end it's a good one.

GUTS, as usual, what you say is exceedingly hard to take seriously...

[GUTS]

How is that hard to take seriously?  You didn't honestly think the story was good did you?  Next you'll tell me the Metal Gear series features great storylines.

[OldRover]

I really enjoyed the Xenogears storyline, it was quite original, which is nice considering it's a Squaresoft game (a company known for recycled storylines). But Metal Gear? Hah, how boring.

[RuninRuder]

I agree with Zig and GUTS on Xenogears.  I rank it "up there" with other post-16-bit debacles like Star Ocean 3, Grandia 2, FF8, and FF9.  I might rate it slightly higher than those jokers because it has some large dungeons and decent music.

Zig--"common" hang-up?  I'd have thought no one besides you and me would be crazy enough to play this game.   

[Emerald Rocker]

Well, you know.  I had to make it sound more widespread than it really is.

[Seldane]

Star Ocean 3, Grandia 2

Well that's a first. I've never heard anything bad about these two games before and I personally think they're g-r-e-a-t.

[Emerald Rocker]

I have no opinion, as I've not played the game, but it's pretty easy to find negative reviews and opinions of Star Ocean 3.

[GUTS]

Yeah Star Ocean 3 was total shit.  Dated, crappy graphics, a retarded quest and story, horrible dungeon design, and did I mention the fucking retarded story?  What a hunk of shit, especially considering what Tri-Ace is usually capable of (not counting the total shitfest Radiata Stories, that was another low point for them).

[TurboXray]

Yeah Star Ocean 3 was total shit.  Dated, crappy graphics

You must be f'ing blind Crappy? Yeah, I guess so. Radiata Stories was crappy - I gave that game away, but Star Ocean 3 and Grandia 2(for its time) are decent at worst and pretty good at best.

[Seldane]

Wow, we always have COMPLETELY opposite opinions. I think Star Ocean 3 was practically perfect in every department, and Radiata Stories is honestly the most entertaining game I have ever played - I was hooked for almost 20 hours straight on that one! That, my friends, IS the perfect game! I just started replaying it and it is so much fun.

I admit that it is boring at first, but after about six hours, it gets more fun than ANYTHING I've ever played. Anything!

[GUTS]

You must be f'ing blind Crappy? Yeah, I guess so. Radiata Stories was crappy - I gave that game away, but Star Ocean 3 and Grandia 2(for its time) are decent at worst and pretty good at best.

Yeah the character models were horrible, they looked like first gen shit.  Hell, Orphen had better character models.

[Odonadon]

I admit that it is boring at first, but after about six hours, it gets more fun than ANYTHING I've ever played. Anything!

I'm curious what kept you playing a boring game for 6 hours

OD

[Seldane]

I'm curious what kept you playing a boring game for 6 hours

Well, I liked the graphics and the story seemed rather interesting. Besides, it was mostly cutscenes, so there wasn't much playing involved. Like watching a six hour cel shaded movie. 

[rag-time4]

After reading about Astralius on the brothers Duomazov's list of turbo trials I'm really curious about it. I'm gonna have to try it soon

[soop]

I'm never going to play it unless it gets hacked to eliminate the obvious flaws.

But how the hell is the Metal Gear series storyline bad?

[GohanX]

I love the Metal Gear games, but occassionally you just have to go, "Who writes this shit?" Especially in parts 2 and 4.

[soop]

I love the Metal Gear games, but occassionally you just have to go, "Who writes this shit?" Especially in parts 2 and 4.

part 4 - as in Peacewalker?  Peacewalker was epic.  I may have shed a tear.

*edit* oh, I forgot about Metal Gear 4, haven't played that one.  But I agree I hated MGS2.

[Arkhan Asylum]

Shit, I liked Australius. 

lol.  I was just playing it like 2 days ago!

[SamIAm]

I love the Metal Gear games, but occassionally you just have to go, "Who writes this shit?" Especially in parts 2 and 4.

You'll probably enjoy this if you haven't already.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/99-Metal-Gear-Solid-4

[esteban]

Dear Lord, I forgot about this thread.

I thought I mentioned it here (but it must have been in runin's epic thread that was deleted), that I was tantalized by the prospect of playing Astralius back in the day because:

(1) IGS had released several games to the U.S. market, so there was hope...
(2) I (we) were desperate for more ARPG/RPG action on the TG-16
(3) The write-up in TurboPlay Magazine made Astralius sound pretty awesome, and the screenshots were quite nice!

TRIVIAL: I always misspell "Astralius" as "Australius"

TRIVIA: Follow the link and you can read the original TurboPlay write-up (and see who wrote it!)

[Tatsujin]

TRIVIAL: I always misspell "Astralius" as "Australius"

Lol, I still do.

[Arkhan Asylum]

I call it that on purpose, because i picture a criminal with a flute going CROIKEY. *tweet tweet*

[BigusSchmuck]

Is this game even playable even if you don't know Japanese?

[RegalSin]

I think everybody is angry with the game machanics. The battles play like Lufia, ( where you have to choose specifically where a target is, and predict, when that target dies ), and other little things.

[Arkhan Asylum]

Is this game even playable even if you don't know Japanese?

Yeah, its pretty playable.  About as playable as any other moonrune RPG.

Less playable than some others though, especially the battles.   They're odd.

[RuninRuder]

I ended up playing through this thing twice.  I love agony.

It's truly awful.

[Arkhan Asylum]

Agony is a great Amiga game!

lol