shit Gaijin never say

[NightWolve]

Jesus Christ, save us George Carlin.

Well, good to know for when he was around, anybody that ever shook his hand has to wonder... Heh. "THAT'S RIGHT GERMOPHOBE! I just took a great big ole stinky shit and I didn't wash or wipe a damn thing! *holds out his right hand* Put her there, nice to meetcha!"

[tggodfrey]

eh, the purpose of squatting is not sanitary, its to avoid relaxing and taking your sweet time reading the paper or better yet, falling asleep on the shitter at work.

[esteban]

I am actually shocked that many of you feign ignorance of squatting whilst here in the States/Canada. Have you never used a public restroom? Do you actually allow your tender, clean flesh to touch the lid of Sodom? I don't care if you put wax paper/sanitary tissue on the lid. That's sanitary theatre.

2-3 layers of toilet paper on top, wasteful, but I can sit and shit in some level of comfort knowing that my ass cheeks aren't absorbing the sweat of last person's ass cheeks that sat, shat, and sweat there. ;)

WORD!!

Sanitary Theatre.

[Nando]

http://en.rocketnews24.com/2012/07/19/apoopalypse-now-we-use-twitter-and-japanese-linguistics-to-track-the-toilet-habits-of-japan/

[guyjin]

3 tales of the toilet!

First time I encountered a bidet was in Spain. I had to pee REAL bad and entered the bathroom; the lid was down so I started peeing in the convenient urinal next to it. I then saw the sink-like handles on the bidet and panicked. I did not pee everywhere, but I did leave that bathroom looking rather sheepish.

Second tale of the toilet was in Japan. Was staying with my host family and used the bathroom. I saw a bunch of buttons on the wall next to me, and being a compulsive button pusher, I threw caution to the wind and pushed the big red one. SURPRISE ASS-SPRAY! I figure it's on a timer and wait for it to finish. and wait. and wait... I start pushing other buttons, labeled in moon language, to no avail. Eventually, I get the darn thing to stop. My ass was so clean it squeaked.

Finally, my only encounter with squat toilets in Japan went surprisingly well, though fortunately all I had to do was #1. However, I tried to do it like a urinal and stood full upright. There was splashing. to avoid dirtying myself I moved my legs apart until I looked like an inverted Y. Seemed to work.

[Tatsujin]

Nice tales bro.

[esteban]

3 tales of the toilet!

First time I encountered a bidet was in Spain. I had to pee REAL bad and entered the bathroom; the lid was down so I started peeing in the convenient urinal next to it. I then saw the sink-like handles on the bidet and panicked. I did not pee everywhere, but I did leave that bathroom looking rather sheepish.

Second tale of the toilet was in Japan. Was staying with my host family and used the bathroom. I saw a bunch of buttons on the wall next to me, and being a compulsive button pusher, I threw caution to the wind and pushed the big red one. SURPRISE ASS-SPRAY! I figure it's on a timer and wait for it to finish. and wait. and wait... I start pushing other buttons, labeled in moon language, to no avail. Eventually, I get the darn thing to stop. My ass was so clean it squeaked.

Finally, my only encounter with squat toilets in Japan went surprisingly well, though fortunately all I had to do was #1. However, I tried to do it like a urinal and stood full upright. There was splashing. to avoid dirtying myself I moved my legs apart until I looked like an inverted Y. Seemed to work.

You had me at "inverted Y" .

Holy crap.

[kazekirifx]

All developed nations should have bidets. Anything less is just barbaric.

[PikachuWarrior]

All developed nations should have toilets, instead of bidets. Sure, they may be cleaner, but...USA USA USA!

[esteban]

I want a bidet. For real.

[Arkhan Asylum]

All developed nations should have bidets. Anything less is just barbaric.

Yeah, it'd be nice to have a soapy waterfountain for my ass instead of the assrash paper they put in bathrooms here.

[NightWolve]

I am actually shocked that many of you feign ignorance of squatting whilst here in the States/Canada. Have you never used a public restroom? Do you actually allow your tender, clean flesh to touch the lid of Sodom? I don't care if you put wax paper/sanitary tissue on the lid. That's sanitary theatre.

2-3 layers of toilet paper on top, wasteful, but I can sit and shit in some level of comfort knowing that my ass cheeks aren't absorbing the sweat of last person's ass cheeks that sat, shat, and sweat there. ;)

WORD!!

Sanitary Theatre.

Yeah, but your "levitation" method carries its own risks. Ever lose balance and, you know, "fall in" so to speak? Not a pretty picture... ;)

EDIT: Oh, pfff, never mind, I wrote it then was like, duh, you still leave the seat down, but what I'm surprised about is you do that at home too! You could buy that special seat that easily disconnects with twist handles so you can take it to the shower and completely wash it down fully with soap rather than just wiping one down that's screwed into place. They cost about $10 bucks more than regular seats. I understand perfectly why you do this with public restrooms, though. Many slobs just urinate with the seats down (on a busy day when the urinals are in use) so sometimes I'll find the seat very wet and I'll have to wipe it dry first before layering it with toilet paper. Then there's upwards splashing when the toilet is flushed as well, so some of that "wet" could be urine and/or water with fecal matter, especially if it was a diarrhea drop, etc... ;) Yeah, they're lots of slobs that just don't lift the seat up to urinate or flush. I hate every minute I'm having to be in a public restroom, honestly.

[esteban]

I am actually shocked that many of you feign ignorance of squatting whilst here in the States/Canada. Have you never used a public restroom? Do you actually allow your tender, clean flesh to touch the lid of Sodom? I don't care if you put wax paper/sanitary tissue on the lid. That's sanitary theatre.

2-3 layers of toilet paper on top, wasteful, but I can sit and shit in some level of comfort knowing that my ass cheeks aren't absorbing the sweat of last person's ass cheeks that sat, shat, and sweat there. ;)

WORD!!

Sanitary Theatre.

Yeah, but your "levitation" method carries its own risks. Ever lose balance and, you know, "fall in" so to speak? Not a pretty picture... ;)

EDIT: Oh, pfff, never mind, I wrote it then was like, duh, you still leave the seat down, but what I'm surprised about is you do that at home too! You could buy that special seat that easily disconnects with twist handles so you can take it to the shower and completely wash it down fully with soap rather than just wiping one down that's screwed into place. They cost about $10 bucks more than regular seats. I understand perfectly why you do this with public restrooms, though. Many slobs just urinate with the seats down (on a busy day when the urinals are in use) so sometimes I'll find the seat very wet and I'll have to wipe it dry first before layering it with toilet paper. Then there's upwards splashing when the toilet is flushed as well, so some of that "wet" could be urine and/or water with fecal matter, especially if it was a diarrhea drop, etc... ;) Yeah, they're lots of slobs that just don't lift the seat up to urinate or flush. I hate every minute I'm having to be in a public restroom, honestly.

Hahahahhaha. I didn't know about the toilet seats that are easily removed for "thorough" washing!

Anyway, since we are on the subject of public restrooms, this might make you feel better:

I went to the beach on Saturday and it was a beautiful day. So beautiful, in fact, that I forgot to bring my sandals to the public restroom. Now, I had to go to the bathroom really bad, so I was forced to STAND ON URINE STAINED FLOORS (yes, patches of fluid were everywhere) whilst I did the deed.

I cringe just thinking about it.

When I finished, I ran to the ocean and ground my feet into the sand. Salt water + exfoliation = relief.

[NightWolve]

Yeah, I used to have one till it broke; it was a soft cushion-based one and eventually the plastic tears as opposed to one made out of solid wood or whatever. But yeah, you just snap it off and take it to the shower tub for a full cleaning - you can't beat that, especially if you had fat, "dirty", sweaty friends over who sat on it... Sounds like the answer to your prayers given your "levitation" method! ;)

so I was forced to STAND ON URINE STAINED FLOORS (yes, patches of fluid were everywhere) whilst I did the deed.

I cringe just thinking about it.

Ughhh!

[PikachuWarrior]

no one uses my bathroom except me! all mine!