Hairless Hair Metal

[BigusSchmuck]

What sad times we are living in when someone has to wear a nose-strip and chew gum to only sound like the grandpaad version of their former self ?

At least Eddie put on a good show.

[Arkhan Asylum]

So, when did Van Halen become hair metal.

lol

[jlued686]

So, when did Van Halen become hair metal.

lol

Not strictly hair metal, but...an argument could be made...

[JoshTurboTrollX]

people age.  they get old.  Fucking sad assed world we live in.

Could be worse.  He could've completely lost his shit like Axle.....

[jlued686]

Ha!!!

Seeing current pictures of 80s rock stars is fucking hilarious and depressing at the same time.

[ToyMachine78]

Oh dear god. That was horrible. I couldn't finish it. Dave needs to eat some cheeseburgers or something. And what's up with his nose? That look should have died with Michael Jackson.

[BigusSchmuck]

It gets better, they released a live album too.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tokyo_Dome_Live_in_Concert
Sammy Haggar isn't amused
http://loudwire.com/sammy-hagar-criticizes-van-halen-live-album/

[SignOfZeta]

So, when did Van Halen become hair metal.

lol

Since always. Since they maybe invented it? Fuck if I know, but putting VH in some other category than one one which has Bullet Boys, Motley Crüe, Winger, or any of that other shit is just splitting great big pink hairs. The further back in time the hair metal era slips the less likely it looks like anyone on earth will have any use for it. This is one of the most completely spent and totally done-with genres of music I can think of. "If the music's too slow, you aren't drunk enough."

The most pathetic thing about this video, and there are many, is that somebody somewhere still thinks Runnin With the Devil is a song worth hearing in any setting. It's not. Even compared to the rest of VH's work it's super bad. It slow as hell and nothing happens except the sound of homoerotic yelping and squeaking from dipshit.

They still play that shit every day on the New Classic Power Rock stations stinking up the middle of the FM dial in every city in America. "Oh yeah! I hate this song!"

I can't fault the guy for the Breath-rite strip. If he needs it to do his job, he needs it. Even with hair so short (they clearly were going out of their way to make sure their hair wasn't too long, it's shorter than mine and I just got it cut a week ago) the fat, and wearing nothing notable to speak of to a gig that probably paid each member $10k per song, they still don't look half as stupid as they did during their prime. In short, they aren't pathetic NOW, they were pathetic THEN.

[Arkhan Asylum]

I never really classified VH has hair metal.   I just classified VH as VH, because Eddie always kind of played some pretty weird shit that never really fit into a category.

and yeah, Running With the Devil is a retarded song.  It's cool to listen to once in awhile for the guitar.   That's about it.

[VenomMacbeth]

I'd still rather sit through this atrocity than anything by Katy Perry or Taylor Swift.  Metal is dead, and it's dead because any shmo can pick up a guitar & derp some power chords & palm mutes out of it, belt something out in a guttural tone, and call it fucking metal.

[SignOfZeta]

Iron Maiden doesn't classify themselves as power metal because they predated the evolution of genuine power metal by as much as a decade. However, that's basically what they are. Similarly VH came as much out of 1970s glam rock as they did metal, they predated hair metal, but it's a genre they eventually settled into if they didn't help invent it. Really it was the record labels that pushed what would have been an LA-only sub-genre of douche rock to the national stage. Kids from my generation spent their teen years actually thinking that that's what rock was. When grunge, hiphop, and acid house started to become more well known it only took maybe two years for kids to forget this garbage ever got made, it's death was swift, and the only people who defend it today are the sort of people who haven't purchased music or concert tickets in 20 years. It's so over, and I am so glad.


I did buy Europe's most recent album though, I enjoyed it. I'm not going to lie. It's still basically hair metal, but Joey Tempest never rode around on an giant inflatable microphone like he was a stripper.

[NecroPhile]

When I think Europe, I think Bluth.

[Arkhan Asylum]

I mainly defend hair metal for the guitar.   There are alot of really talented guitarists in those bands, with a lot of really intense shit going on.

Unfortunately it's all wrapped up in cheesy lyrics.  The stuff is fun to blast when you want to act stupid, but, I have a hard time trying to comprehend people who take that shit seriously.

I saw it when I went and saw Poison/Ratt/White Lion live.

45-50 year old dudes dressed like they just fell out of a stoner van, basically acting like drunk retards.

I *hope* they were just living it up for the concert, as opposed to acting like that 24/7.

[ToyMachine78]

I'd still rather sit through this atrocity than anything by Katy Perry or Taylor Swift.  Metal is dead, and it's dead because any shmo can pick up a guitar & derp some power chords & palm mutes out of it, belt something out in a guttural tone, and call it fucking metal.

What planet do you live on? Metal is alive and well, and has quite a resurgence over the past decade. Shadows Fall, Opeth, Lamb of God, Arch Enemy, Children of Bodom, Whitr Chapel, Carnifex... I could sit here all afternoon listing current metal bands that are doing well.  Not to mention the old school bands that still pack houses. In the past two years I've seen Iron Maiden twice, Megadeth, Slayer, and Exodus. All shows were sold out, and all bands freaking sounded great.

And as Arkhan stated, these weren't any old schmos that picked up a guitar. Metal players are some of the most accomplished guitarists on the planet. That goes for the 80s and current guitarists. Randy Rhodes, Steve Vai.... And more recent Alexi Laiho.

This has got to be the most bullshit uninformed post I've read in any thread.

Mark Morton & Willie Adler: https://youtu.be/KzBPOXxikH0

Alexi Laiho (Children of Bodom)  full version- Passage to the Reaper.avi: https://youtu.be/d7eLluMJxAM

[ToyMachine78]

So, when did Van Halen become hair metal.

lol

Since always. Since they maybe invented it? Fuck if I know, but putting VH in some other category than one one which has Bullet Boys, Motley Crüe, Winger, or any of that other shit is just splitting great big pink hairs. The further back in time the hair metal era slips the less likely it looks like anyone on earth will have any use for it. This is one of the most completely spent and totally done-with genres of music I can think of. "If the music's too slow, you aren't drunk enough."

The most pathetic thing about this video, and there are many, is that somebody somewhere still thinks Runnin With the Devil is a song worth hearing in any setting. It's not. Even compared to the rest of VH's work it's super bad. It slow as hell and nothing happens except the sound of homoerotic yelping and squeaking from dipshit.

They still play that shit every day on the New Classic Power Rock stations stinking up the middle of the FM dial in every city in America. "Oh yeah! I hate this song!"

I can't fault the guy for the Breath-rite strip. If he needs it to do his job, he needs it. Even with hair so short (they clearly were going out of their way to make sure their hair wasn't too long, it's shorter than mine and I just got it cut a week ago) the fat, and wearing nothing notable to speak of to a gig that probably paid each member $10k per song, they still don't look half as stupid as they did during their prime. In short, they aren't pathetic NOW, they were pathetic THEN.

Sure they look ridiculous now in retrospect, but then that was pretty normal. Hell the 80's was ridiculous period.  They looked a lot more normal than KISS, David Bowie, Elvis, or Jimmy Paige in his Elvis like jump suits.

[o.pwuaioc]

Maybe they're technically good at guitar, but no new metal has done anything for me. And the roaring/growling shit is just too cheesy to take serious. I hear Lamb of God and I roll my eyes and laugh. I listened to Set to Fail and Laid to Rest just to make sure I wasn't out of the loop, and nope, still sucks.

[jlued686]

FYI: It's not a nose-strip. It's a band-aid. The band-aid is there because he cut his nose on the microphone earlier in the show. No joke.

[VenomMacbeth]

Maybe they're technically good at guitar, but no new metal has done anything for me. And the roaring/growling shit is just too cheesy to take serious. I hear Lamb of God and I roll my eyes and laugh. I listened to Set to Fail and Laid to Rest just to make sure I wasn't out of the loop, and nope, still sucks.

Agreed.  Just because metal is "alive & well" and has had a "resurgence" recently doesn't mean it still holds any relevance to anyone but its fans & casual listeners looking for something "alternative".  Shoegaze has had a "resurgence" in the past decade, too.

If I really wanna rock out, I just put on The Mars Volta.

[Arkhan Asylum]

Maybe they're technically good at guitar, but no new metal has done anything for me. And the roaring/growling shit is just too cheesy to take serious. I hear Lamb of God and I roll my eyes and laugh. I listened to Set to Fail and Laid to Rest just to make sure I wasn't out of the loop, and nope, still sucks.

yeah it's all mostly background noise sweep arpeggio bullshit with no actual interesting thing going on. 

The most interesting thing to happen in metal recently has been Babymetal.

[ToyMachine78]

Maybe they're technically good at guitar, but no new metal has done anything for me. And the roaring/growling shit is just too cheesy to take serious. I hear Lamb of God and I roll my eyes and laugh. I listened to Set to Fail and Laid to Rest just to make sure I wasn't out of the loop, and nope, still sucks.

Agreed.  Just because metal is "alive & well" and has had a "resurgence" recently doesn't mean it still holds any relevance to anyone but its fans & casual listeners looking for something "alternative".  Shoegaze has had a "resurgence" in the past decade, too.

If I really wanna rock out, I just put on The Mars Volta.

That is so subjective.  lol All music is only relative to its fans!

Anyone who wants to celebrate the death of metal, and your in the South East, feel free to join me at Carolina Rebellion. I'll be there both days

[Gentlegamer]

And as Arkhan stated, these weren't any old schmos that picked up a guitar. Metal players are some of the most accomplished guitarists on the planet. That goes for the 80s and current guitarists. Randy Rhodes, Steve Vai.... And more recent Alexi Laiho.

This has got to be the most bullshit uninformed post I've read in any thread.

Randy Rhoads

[VenomMacbeth]

You know, you're right, but my point was that it doesn't appeal to as broad an audience as it used to.

To quote one of your earlier posts, "to each their own."

And for the record, I can dig on stuff like og Van Halen, Iron Maiden, and the like, because they wrote some really good melodies...but I dunno, I guess I'm just not angry enough to listen to the new stuff? 

Although I will say, Children of Bodom did an AWESOME cover of Rebel Yell.

[ToyMachine78]

Maybe they're technically good at guitar, but no new metal has done anything for me. And the roaring/growling shit is just too cheesy to take serious. I hear Lamb of God and I roll my eyes and laugh. I listened to Set to Fail and Laid to Rest just to make sure I wasn't out of the loop, and nope, still sucks.

yeah it's all mostly background noise sweep arpeggio bullshit with no actual interesting thing going on. 

The most interesting thing to happen in metal recently has been Babymetal.

It's called neo classical. Besides what guitarist blows your skirt up?

[NecroPhile]

Well what guitarist blows your skirt up?

Toshinori Hiramatsu

[Arkhan Asylum]

Maybe they're technically good at guitar, but no new metal has done anything for me. And the roaring/growling shit is just too cheesy to take serious. I hear Lamb of God and I roll my eyes and laugh. I listened to Set to Fail and Laid to Rest just to make sure I wasn't out of the loop, and nope, still sucks.

yeah it's all mostly background noise sweep arpeggio bullshit with no actual interesting thing going on. 

The most interesting thing to happen in metal recently has been Babymetal.

It's called neo classical. Besides what guitarist blows your skirt up?

It's called mimicking Becker/Friedman, and doing it poorly, with no general flare/defining characteristics.

[ToyMachine78]

Well what guitarist blows your skirt up?

Toshinori Hiramatsu

That's pretty good stuff. Reminds me of DragonForce. It gets the Toymachine seal of approval.

[Arkhan Asylum]

[ToyMachine78]

Maybe they're technically good at guitar, but no new metal has done anything for me. And the roaring/growling shit is just too cheesy to take serious. I hear Lamb of God and I roll my eyes and laugh. I listened to Set to Fail and Laid to Rest just to make sure I wasn't out of the loop, and nope, still sucks.

yeah it's all mostly background noise sweep arpeggio bullshit with no actual interesting thing going on. 

The most interesting thing to happen in metal recently has been Babymetal.

It's called neo classical. Besides what guitarist blows your skirt up?

It's called mimicking Becker/Friedman, and doing it poorly, with no general flare/defining characteristics.

It was just a guitar clinic. You would prob find his actual work more appealing.

I assume you mean Marty Friedman. He's good. My favorite Megadeth guitarist by far. You strike me as a old school Thrash kind of guy.

[Arkhan Asylum]

It was just a guitar clinic. You would prob find his actual work more appealing.

Who/what the fuck are you talking about.

I assume you mean Marty Friedman. He's good. My favorite Megadeth guitarist by far. You strike me as a old school Thrash kind of guy.

What other Friedman is there.   He's more than good.  He's a true guitarist.  He's not just doing some derivative bullshit.   He pioneered a thing, and continued to do his own thing, and still does now.   

I listen to a lot of different kinds of guitar music.    I will happily take oldschool thrash over the neoclassical crap.   


The Becker/Friedman combination is something that will likely never be revisited, because of Becker's current condition.

[ToyMachine78]

This was good until the guy started singing. For some reason that brought images from Top Gun to mind Lol.

[Arkhan Asylum]

Let's all Cacophony together.

[Arkhan Asylum]

This was good until the guy started singing. For some reason that brought images from Top Gun to mind Lol.

Nobody actually pays attention to the singer in Cacophony. 

[esteban]

Nearly all pop music has stupid lyrics. The same is true for indie and unknown bands, as well.

I am sorry, but I still like a lot of the "hair metal" that has been so trendy to make fun of since Nirvana's Teen Spirit became a Top 40 hit.

I like hair metal more NOW than I did back in the 80's. In the 80's, I was more transfixed by other genres...

Then again, I'm talking about QUEENSRYCHE as well as other bands.

I'm not an ardent fan of hair metal, but there are a lot of totally fun/great songs in the genre. I feel bad for anyone who doesn't want to embrace the silliness of it all.

I love that falsetto + guitar

You guys are trying too hard. Go complain on the Pitchfork forums.

[ToyMachine78]

It was just a guitar clinic. You would prob find his actual work more appealing.

Who/what the fuck are you talking about.

I assume you mean Marty Friedman. He's good. My favorite Megadeth guitarist by far. You strike me as a old school Thrash kind of guy.

What other Friedman is there.   He's more than good.  He's a true guitarist.  He's not just doing some derivative bullshit.   He pioneered a thing, and continued to do his own thing, and still does now.   

I listen to a lot of different kinds of guitar music.    I will happily take oldschool thrash over the neoclassical crap.   


The Becker/Friedman combination is something that will likely never be revisited, because of Becker's current condition.

You commented that it was just appregio sweeps.... Yeah it was just a guitar clinic/lesson.

Anyhoo... There are tons of phenomenal metal guitarists. I love thrash too. Love Alex Skolnicks work. I'll get to see him next month.

To be honest I love any music with loud guitars. All genre of metal and punk.

[Arkhan Asylum]

You commented that it was just appregio sweeps.... Yeah it was just a guitar clinic/lesson

I think you completely misunderstood.  I was never talking about a guitar clinic or lesson.

I was talking about how all this modern neo-classical metal is mostly just derivative sweep arpeggio bullshit that ends up sounding like background noise because it's just a competition to see who can play the most technically awesome bewlewleroweoweoweoooop arpeggio.

It's uninteresting, overdone crap.   It's just a gimmick that seems super impressive and awesome, and when overused, completely ruins entire songs.   It's supposed to be one part of an arsenal, but ends up becoming the only thing in use.

It really needs to stop.

EDIT:  There's a reason people like Marty Friedman have been a bit vocal about similar topics, and even have new instructional videos highlighting it..   There aren't enough people straying from the OMFG ARPEGGIOS. GO FAST. path these days in metal. 

[Gentlegamer]

Then again, I'm talking about QUEENSRYCHE as well as other bands.

One of the best shows I ever saw was Queensryche performing the entire Operation: Mindcrime album as a rock opera.

[ToyMachine78]

You commented that it was just appregio sweeps.... Yeah it was just a guitar clinic/lesson

I think you completely misunderstood.  I was never talking about a guitar clinic or lesson.

I was talking about how all this modern neo-classical metal is mostly just derivative sweep arpeggio bullshit that ends up sounding like background noise because it's just a competition to see who can play the most technically awesome bewlewleroweoweoweoooop arpeggio.

It's uninteresting, overdone crap.   It's just a gimmick that seems super impressive and awesome, and when overused, completely ruins entire songs.   It's supposed to be one part of an arsenal, but ends up becoming the only thing in use.

It really needs to stop.

EDIT:  There's a reason people like Marty Friedman have been a bit vocal about similar topics, and even have new instructional videos highlighting it..   There aren't enough people straying from the OMFG ARPEGGIOS. GO FAST. path these days in metal.

Oh. I thought you were referring to the Laiho clinic I linked to. Alexi used to play in a more classical style. Not anymore though.

I dont hear it much in the newer stuff I listen to. When I think of that style I think of old shit like Malmsteen. I guess its more common in power and progressive metal. I don't listen to much of that though.

[Arkhan Asylum]

I will be very happy when the sweep arpeggio bullshit fad dies down completely.  Even in the genre where it's supposed to be a thing, they've basically overdone it.

It's the equivalent of only doing raking across a violin in a classical piece.   Its neat at first, but man, if you just sit there and do it constantly, it gets old.


lol, or Zakk Wylde and his overuse of elephant-sounding pinch harmonics. 

[BigusSchmuck]

FYI: It's not a nose-strip. It's a band-aid. The band-aid is there because he cut his nose on the microphone earlier in the show. No joke.

Lol didn't catch that the first time. When I think of Hair Metal gone wrong I often think of these guys:

Its so cheesy even Beavis and Butthead made fun of it.

[ToyMachine78]

Firehouse and Warrant are who make me cringe.

[Arkhan Asylum]

Which Warrant?  The German one is good.

[SignOfZeta]

I agree that metal is alive and well. Just go to a Maiden show and see the enthusiasm from them and the fans. Many of old timers are doing some of thier best work these days, Helloween, Stratovarious, Blind Guardian, better than ever. I don't really follow newer acts myself, but I see that prog metal in particular is exploding with new music.

What's died off is the useless garbage like Slaughter or Warrent. With no music industry left to fuck shit up the real shit emerges.

[ToyMachine78]

Which Warrant?  The German one is good.

Sorry... The gay-matching-white-leather-suit-american one lol

[BigusSchmuck]

Which Warrant?  The German one is good.

Sorry... The gay-matching-white-leather-suit-american one lol

Tottaly forgot about them, horrid.

I agree that metal is alive and well. Just go to a Maiden show and see the enthusiasm from them and the fans. Many of old timers are doing some of thier best work these days, Helloween, Stratovarious, Blind Guardian, better than ever. I don't really follow newer acts myself, but I see that prog metal in particular is exploding with new music.

What's died off is the useless garbage like Slaughter or Warrent. With no music industry left to fuck shit up the real shit emerges.

I didn't even know Helloween was still around, about the only song I remember from them is the self titled one lol

[ToyMachine78]

Two hair metal bands I still love are Cinderella and W.A.S.P. I love Tom Keifer and Blackie Lawless's voices

Edit: add great white to that too. Always liked the bluesy vibe to their music.

[Gentlegamer]

I agree that metal is alive and well. Just go to a Maiden show and see the enthusiasm from them and the fans.

UP THE IRONS!

Best shows I've ever been to were Iron Maiden. It's been a while, though, the last show I saw was the Somewhere Back in Time tour in 2008.

[esteban]

Two hair metal bands I still love are Cinderella and W.A.S.P. I love Tom Keifer and Blackie Lawless's voices

Edit: add great white to that too. Always liked the bluesy vibe to their music.

Yup and yup (Cinderella and WASP and STRYPER)

You can't love WASP without STRYPER.

[ToyMachine78]

Two hair metal bands I still love are Cinderella and W.A.S.P. I love Tom Keifer and Blackie Lawless's voices

Edit: add great white to that too. Always liked the bluesy vibe to their music.

Yup and yup (Cinderella and WASP and STRYPER)

You can't love WASP without STRYPER.

I don't know about that este.... Is that kinda like yin and yang?

[esteban]

Two hair metal bands I still love are Cinderella and W.A.S.P. I love Tom Keifer and Blackie Lawless's voices

Edit: add great white to that too. Always liked the bluesy vibe to their music.

Yup and yup (Cinderella and WASP and STRYPER)

You can't love WASP without STRYPER.

I don't know about that este.... Is that kinda like yin and yang?

EXACTLY. I can't help but love the Christian angle as a counterweight to the debauchery.

[InfraMan]

The most interesting thing to happen in metal recently has been Babymetal.

@#&$ yeah, BABYMETAL!