PCE Games that flat out fucking suck

[Sinistron]

Cross Wiber.

One of the worst sequels I've ever played.  At first glance- it looks like an improvement over Cyber Cross- with the parallax and what not.  It isn't.  This game sucks blubbery whale cock. 
First off- the character animation is shit- horrendous walk.  Enemies fly out at random- quick as hell with no rhyme or reason.  The power punch from Cyber Cross is gone- replaced by some gay ass spinning roundhouse kick- the super attack for the three weapons are gone- and unlike Cyber Cross- you can't take your weapon with you to the next stage.  Also unlike Cyber Cross you have to press select to turn into a cyborg which is just fucking stupid- why would it be an option?  Who would want to stay being the lame ass "tough guy" with his doofus walk?  It doesn't even feel like this game was made by the same company (Face) who did Cyber Cross- the weapons- there is still the red (sword), blue (gun) and green (boomerang)- however while in Cyber Cross the boomerang was without question the worst weapon to have- in this one its by far the most effective- but of course these weapons aren't worth shit if- again- you can't take them with you into the next round.

Biggest problem with this title- the difficulty curve.  Levels 1 through 5 are a fucking joke.  There's an energy can to be had like every twenty steps- you never feel like you're in real danger- you breeze through these stages on your first play- then suddenly- level 6.  Level 6.  You know in games like Shapeshifter, Tiger Road, Ninja Gaiden, etc. where there's tricky jumps because meatheads come quickly flying at you and knock you out of your jump- and you're left frustrated as you fall to your death between two pillars, cliffs, whatever?  Amplify that by ten for stage 6 of this fucking turd.  No rhyme or reason to how the enemies fly out at you- you can stand there and they'll keep coming- but it ain't like you can stand there and build up a high score- because- I don't recall even seeing a fucking score in this game.  A game with no kept score.  So anyway- yeah- stage 6- practically all jumping between pillars as fuckwits come quickly flying out and knock you off your jumps- and they come from both directions.  You'll be mid air and boom- you're dead.  Trying to let them all pass by doesn't work- because as I stated they keep fucking coming.  There's also no unlimited continues- so eventually after suffering from these ridiculously cheap deaths you have to go through stages 1-5 again- which are so fucking easy as to render them meaningless.  A huge fucking bore.

In other areas this game tries to excel- with a little variety- for instance a shooter stage.  Problem is that the shooter stage is a joke.  Mickey Mouse shit.  I think the only thing I DID like was seeing the frog boss from Cyber Cross all big and nasty looking- with the same attack.  Not too big a thrill however.

This game sucks wild ass.  Stay away.

[Duo_R]

can we refrain from posting exploits in the subject line until Fighting Street does not appear under "unread topics?" I mean put F***ing or something.

[Keranu]

Man Cross Wiber had potential to be a sweet game, but the terrible controls ruin it. The graphics and sound were pretty awesome from what I rmeember, but I got pissed off at one of the last levels (maybe it was the last) where there were a set of pillars to jump on but I kept missing the jumps because of the lousy controls (can't remember if it was because I couldn't actually make the jump or if I kept getting knocked off by the time I landed).

EDIT: I stopped being a lazy ass and read your post. Looks like you described the part I got stuck at!

[Joe Redifer]

can we refrain from posting exploits in the subject line until Fighting Street does not appear under "unread topics?" I mean put F***ing or something.

Are you suggesting adding rules and guidelines to a forum which has no rules or guidelines?

[CrackTiger]

Night Creatures is technically terrible, but it's so bad and challenging through shear cheapness and awful design that it's very satisfying to beat. Like too many other horrible games, it stands out because of how it had the chance to be a great game, but somehow turned everything around to not just come off as unfinished, but outright broken. As ridiculously hard it is to figure out how to progress all the way to the end, they went and added a time limit, ensuring that any wrong turn guarantees that you won't/can't finish the game. Not that a time limit was necessary for that, since running into an inescapable boss without the correct weapon means that game is over anyway. That apparently not being enough, they even threw in a large area to waste time in, that doesn't need to be visited at all. I love the game and am so glad that someone once challenged me to beat it (saying that it was "impossible"). But it really does excel at being a truly bad game and not just super bland or boring.

[Duo_R]

yup, these weren't supposed to be showing up as unread posts. It was supposed to be a forum you had to enter to view. So until it is fixed....

can we refrain from posting exploits in the subject line until Fighting Street does not appear under "unread topics?" I mean put F***ing or something.

Are you suggesting adding rules and guidelines to a forum which has no rules or guidelines?

[Sinistron]

can we refrain from posting exploits in the subject line until Fighting Street does not appear under "unread topics?" I mean put F***ing or something.

I vote we change the name of this forum to Fucking Street.

[Joe Redifer]

I vote we change your name to Fuckistron.

Wait... that could be interpreted as a compliment.

[Sinistron]

I vote we change your name to Fred Gwynne's Mongoloid Offspring.  Think anyone will mistake that for a compliment?  The air must be so thin in Denver that over there "Fuckistron" may pass for bold humor.  One in 10 are blacks near you eh?  So what do you do when you're not stealing Fred Gwynne's face?  Sit around like a lowly twat picking on "niggers"?  And yeah seriously the way you carry on about faggots and aids- it's ok Joe- no one gives a fuck about the vibrator in your closet.

Where'd the Is Aaron Nanto Gay thread go that you started?  I thought it was FIGHTING STREET- where anything goes (except pron or warez)?  Apparantly that ANYTHING also includes being a little pussy with no conviction.  This isn't the first time you erased your bullshit in the new unmoderated forum.

[Joe Redifer]

I didn't delete it.  Aaron did!  More later...

[nat]

Ninja Warriors - HAHA.

[NecroPhile]

Wonder Momo

It's not the worst game ever, but pretty much everything about it is lackluster sucktitude.  It starts with the premise - you're an actress in a school play - which makes each 'act' small and confined to size of the 'stage'.  The background and sprites are reasonably colorful, but they're rather basic, bland, and lacking in detail; the music and sound effects are equally boring, though inoffensive.  The lameness continues with the controls, which are passable but limited in attacking with awkward looking, short range kicks.  To add a little excitement (very little), each attack builds up the wonder meter, which when full lets you transform into Wonder Momo and toss about the hula hoop of terror.  Exhilarating stuff, eh?  Just watch out for the weirdo in the crowd trying to take upskirt pics; if successful, Momo will be momentarily dazed and unable to defend herself.

If you're a pervert (like me), then there's one slightly redeeming quality: the cheesecake.  There's some well drawn, slightly naughty intermission pics and she likes flashing her sensible white panties throughout the game, yet steer clear of this one.  It's nowhere near worth the price of admission.

[Arkhan Asylum]

There is no such thing as a bad PCE game.

There are just ones that arent as good as the good ones.

[Alt-Nintega]

Sinistron aka Violent Soldier 

[Tatsujin]

Sinistron aka Violent Soldier 

irony or just foolery?

[Sinistron]

better yet Nintega or really some cat named HuDude

[NecroPhile]

Sinistron aka Violent Soldier 

Care to elaborate, or are you simply a troll?

[nectarsis]

Sinistron aka Violent Soldier 

Care to elaborate, or are you simply a troll?

It's the "once a month troll" ;)

[NecroPhile]

It's the "once a month troll" ;)

By which you mean a bleeding pussy, correct? 

[nectarsis]

LMAO yep your correct my good sir ;)

[Alt-Nintega]

Sinistron aka Violent Soldier 

Care to elaborate, or are you simply a troll?

I rather play Sidearms, Gradius, Salamander, or R-Type than Sinistron. I think those games are much better.

[NecroPhile]

I rather play Sidearms, Gradius, Salamander, or R-Type than Sinistron. I think those games are much better.

But why does it 'flat out fucking suck'?  Surely you can come up with something better than it failing to be the preeminent game of its genre (please be specific).

[geise]

Sinistron rocks and my opinion is always fact.

[Arkhan Asylum]

I always take Sinistron on the bus with me in my Express instead of the other crap

[Sinistron]

THUNDERBLADE. Jesus fucking jones chriss almighty this game is 300% absolutely fucking dreadful.  I turned it on and it's one of those that just plow you through with a wave of god-awfulness from the very first second- it's so bad that I'm not going to elaborate further other than to say that I actually went through the first overhead level to get to the first 3D scrolling level to see if that stage was at least somewhat better- that level made Power Drift seem like a masterpiece in comparison.

[Arkhan Asylum]

Thunderblade is to PCE as Waterworld is to Virtual Boy.

[blueraven]

Wonder Momo

It's not the worst game ever, but pretty much everything about it is lackluster sucktitude.  It starts with the premise - you're an actress in a school play - which makes each 'act' small and confined to size of the 'stage'.  The background and sprites are reasonably colorful, but they're rather basic, bland, and lacking in detail; the music and sound effects are equally boring, though inoffensive.  The lameness continues with the controls, which are passable but limited in attacking with awkward looking, short range kicks.  To add a little excitement (very little), each attack builds up the wonder meter, which when full lets you transform into Wonder Momo and toss about the hula hoop of terror.  Exhilarating stuff, eh?  Just watch out for the weirdo in the crowd trying to take upskirt pics; if successful, Momo will be momentarily dazed and unable to defend herself.

If you're a pervert (like me), then there's one slightly redeeming quality: the cheesecake.  There's some well drawn, slightly naughty intermission pics and she likes flashing her sensible white panties throughout the game, yet steer clear of this one.  It's nowhere near worth the price of admission.

Thank You. 

Quite possibly the only game I own that I dislike because the music and sound effects ARE THE SAME IN EVERY LEVEL.

Enough to make you want to pull your hair out.

[VestCunt]

PCE System Card 1.0 - Now this game fucking sucks.  Some kind of shitty prequel to Altered Beast.

THUNDERBLADE. Jesus fucking jones chriss almighty this game is 300% absolutely fucking dreadful.  I turned it on and it's one of those that just plow you through with a wave of god-awfulness from the very first second- it's so bad that I'm not going to elaborate further other than to say that I actually went through the first overhead level to get to the first 3D scrolling level to see if that stage was at least somewhat better- that level made Power Drift seem like a masterpiece in comparison. 

Really?  I'll have to try.  Thunderblade SMS is GOOD (or maybe all of my SMS games just flat out fucking suck by comparison?).

Night Creatures is technically terrible...

BEEP   
Not a PC Engine game! 
-3 Cool Points.

[NecroPhile]

BEEP   
Not a PC Engine game! 
-3 Cool Points.

Minus eleventyjillion cool points for drawing a distinction between the PCE and the TG-16.  Who do you think you are?  Joe?!? 

[blueraven]

YAWARA 2

This is the cheapest game I have purchased so far. $3. I was hoping for some sort of redeeming quality from this game. ANYTHING. You can read the digtal comic, go thru the cooking simulator, or practice judo. In the judo game you have 2 moves; throw or be thrown, and the controls are ambiguous at best. None of the judo girls are even remotely cute. I was told that you can play othello too, but my attention span collapsed and I had to go eat something, forever abandoning this game to rot on my shelf for all eternity. Unless you absolutely need every PC Engine game evAR, don't buy this pile of crap, you'd be better off with a broken Kato & Ken.

[geise]

Don't know if we're counting CD or SCD games but I'm gonna say Browning.  I tried to like it but it is horrible.  There is really nothing that I like about that game.

[blueraven]

The CD version of Altered Beast is the W0R5T FA1L cdrom2 that I own. If I had the spine card I would burn it. 

Unless you have a system 1.0 card for your system (yes, Tatsujin confirmed that the 1.0 will work on a Duo) this game is unplayable due to the worst locking error of all time during the Final "Beast" powerup. It just STOPS SCROLLING.

Did I mention it's only 1 PLAYER?   

The backgrounds aren't awesome either. 

If you try to play it for more than 30 seconds you will turn into one of the headless Zombies. Maybe.

[rag-time4]

The CD version of Altered Beast is the W0R5T FA1L cdrom2 that I own. If I had the spine card I would burn it. 

Unless you have a system 1.0 card for your system (yes, Tatsujin confirmed that the 1.0 will work on a Duo) this game is unplayable due to the worst locking error of all time during the Final "Beast" powerup. It just STOPS SCROLLING.

Did I mention it's only 1 PLAYER?  

The backgrounds aren't awesome either. 

If you try to play it for more than 30 seconds you will turn into one of the headless Zombies. Maybe.

I just cleared this last night and I enjoyed it. The normal difficulty was pretty easy.

I loved the voices throughout the game, as well as the roars during the transform sequence. I definitely wish it was 2 player though!

[blueraven]

I'm glad you had fun rags, but IMHO no gamer should have to go through that much 5h1t just to play a game.

I paid about $23 too which was a total ripoff. It was the first game I bought for my PCE Duo; you can imagine my excitement. Then the game locks. I've got nothing to play for three more weeks. 

I would rather play Wonder Momo for a week than deal with this game. It ALMOST makes me nostalgic for the Genesis. How did this problem get past R&D at Hudson?

[NecroPhile]

How did this problem get past R&D at Hudson?

They probably lacked access to the T.A.R.D.I.S.  The game was developed when the 1.0 card was the only system card, so how could they know that it would be incompatible with future system cards?

[blueraven]

How did this problem get past R&D at Hudson?

They probably lacked access to the T.A.R.D.I.S.  The game was developed when the 1.0 card was the only system card, so how could they know that it would be incompatible with future system cards?

But I thought Hudson HAD access to to the time-space continuum! 

Ok that makes sense. 

[ApolloBoy]

I'm surprised nobody's mentioned Energy yet.

[blueraven]

  WOW I just played Falcon on an emulator. I LIKE flight sims and that game is a total piece of crap.

I may have to un-vote for World Sports Competition and put this in as teh worst game of that year.

[PukeSter]

Rastan Saga II is just a really bad game. First off, the music is really scratchy and hard to listen to. Next, the controls suck. Rastan is so hard to move, and it takes forever to attack enemies. Also, there is a 5 second wait when you get a new item. WHY??? Also, everything is too clunky and large, leaving no room to move. It is extremely easy to get hit, and bosses are the worst offenders. Fighting them is a pointless hackfest, and easy to die multiple times! Not the worst on the PCE, but still pretty crappy in general.

[Arkhan Asylum]

I'm surprised nobody's mentioned Energy yet.

Stop this nonsense at once you terrorist!

[Tatsujin]

Rastan Saga II is just a really bad game. First off, the music is really scratchy and hard to listen to. Next, the controls suck. Rastan is so hard to move, and it takes forever to attack enemies. Also, there is a 5 second wait when you get a new item. WHY??? Also, everything is too clunky and large, leaving no room to move. It is extremely easy to get hit, and bosses are the worst offenders. Fighting them is a pointless hackfest, and easy to die multiple times! Not the worst on the PCE, but still pretty crappy in general.

it's not just the PCEs fault, the game was ubercrap from the begin with (arcade). and watch the MDs conversion, beside of the added parallax, everything looks even worse.

it still is beyond my comprehention how Taito could fuck up so heavily with one of their (if not the) best game ever (Rastan Saga), and produced such a shit fuck sequel that absolutely noone needed (not even 2.5 year olds).

[RegalSin]

You all are complaining on what grounds?

Rastan Saga was Conan, along with all Conan inspired games. That is all.
Great you have the arcade, and the console version so what, if it is not perfect or differnt.

Night Creatures creators spawned probably the best of the DUO series.
The Turbo Grafx was a young runner up and to be honest western culture does not have really have the colorful atmosphere, when it comes to swords. Their is DAD, Halloween, and the age of exploration. That is it, asides Space Adventure. You can't blame Atari, blame the fact that every year some advertisment teather bastards force consumers to buy more crap, and calls everything old. In Japan it is not like that entirely. Night Creatures is a great game, that deserves alot more attention then it really gets.

Violent soilder, was kind of insane, I will admit, but being a side scrollers allways have a down side. Especially with a non-human character.

Wonder momo. Okay This game is auwsome, and it embodies the living spirit of all fictions. Call it the Kabuki Teather of the game world. At least
in Japan they had live events, in public, where people would get together planned. In America we barely have that at all. When we do, especially nowadays it is, extremly negative responses from all angles.

I do not think their is a real bad PCE game that I am really upset with till this date. All videogames have their ups and downs

[CrackTiger]

Rastan Saga II is just a really bad game. First off, the music is really scratchy and hard to listen to. Next, the controls suck. Rastan is so hard to move, and it takes forever to attack enemies. Also, there is a 5 second wait when you get a new item. WHY??? Also, everything is too clunky and large, leaving no room to move. It is extremely easy to get hit, and bosses are the worst offenders. Fighting them is a pointless hackfest, and easy to die multiple times! Not the worst on the PCE, but still pretty crappy in general.

But the tunes are thumpin'.

[PunkCryborg]

Rastan Saga II is awesome

[Tatsujin]

Rastan Saga II is awesome

Don't lie!

[turbofan1]

Mysterious song  .

[NecroPhile]

Mysterious song  .

Awww, the dick eating troll made a funny.

[NecroPhile]

Ah the over obnoxious queer dork,that post A hundred times a day needs his ass kicked.

Stay in the closet and keep your mild threats and harassment to yourself, ya ignorant fuck.

[Arkhan Asylum]

the only thing that sucks worse than MSR is Insanity.
]hurhrururuhrrredfttgeyh

[RegalSin]

Hey, hey, hey

Mysterious Song is a game that was released, from years ago, when RPG's was an RPG, programed in a normal heterosexual langauge.